Sitting as a competitive dance-dad one weekend upon some bleachers, I had a chance to reflect on school administration. Anyone who has enjoyed school-aged dance competitions knows hours can pass between your child’s performances. Often I take these opportunities to generate ideas for teaching, training, and writing.
In this instance, I was thinking of Todd Whitaker’s and my book, The Hero Maker, written for superintendents on their relationships with boards of education. I envisioned a series of “-Maker’s” to be written someday—Difference Maker, for school boards, Future Maker for principals, Opportunity Maker for assistant principals, and Moment Maker for teachers. They just sorted-themselves-out that way; I realize the best of us do them all.
I reflected more fully during my writing of All Other Duties As Assigned on the powerful teaching influence of Assistant Principals. Assistant Principals use teachable moments and the entire school as their classroom—“Life,” is often the lesson. Thus, Assistant Principals like our best teachers, are moment-makers, with hundreds of decisions each day of great import, and hopefully imparting something of value.
Key for you as an Assistant Principal is to be in-the-moment, consistently at your best for the people around you. You really are each and every day, a “. . . point person helping others make the best of circumstances when the going gets tough . . . [providing] comfort and guidance to students trying to make sense of it all while helping the adults who work with them” (p. 2).
Now that the school year is starting anew, do you ensure moment-making opportunities? Consider one example of Assistant Principal moment-making: It is when a student approaches you with, what I might affectionately call the yet-another thing—[‘Here we go,’ your inside voice might whisper, because you have much heavier things on your mind].
This could be low-key like, “Where is my next class located?,” or “How long until the next bell?” or even of greater urgency, like “A car and bus just ran into each other in the school parking lot,” or “I’ve got to talk to you now; I’m really, really [expletive deleted] angry!” Either way, think of this yet-another-thing stepping into your present moment, while your principal is texting you about pending litigation against the school, or something similar.
These are your opportunities for moment-making.
Yet-another thing’s are often really big in the eyes of those bringing them to you, no matter their relative weight in comparison with other things you are handling.
You can either leverage the moment to make an indelible, positive impression upon a student, build trust, and give that moment what it deserves—your authentic time and effort—or you can handle the circumstance (even quickly dispensing of it, I might add) without moment-making in mind.
I hope not, the latter.
While moment-making, you have options of what to say next, how to say it, and what to do. Your choice as an Assistant Principal: what happens next—when yet-another thing comes knocking and how to navigate—is what moment-making is all about.
That moment will be remembered by the student long after the immediacy of your situation expires, and it is what will influence how they approach you [or not] the next time around, no matter the outcome. In other words, students will remember how they were treated, and how they felt in-the-moment, whether you are intentional about the moment, or not.
Tips for effective moment-making (what you say next, is important):
1. Demonstrate genuine interest in the student—in that moment—no matter the hundred other things on your mind; appear glad they approached you;
2. Be present and listen—ensure your non-verbal expressions indicate interest, while your brain is thinking quickly what next to say;
[For on-the-spot things, go directly to #3 below]
3. Say next, your response or decision (or start doing something, in the case of the car/bus accident above)—be compassionate while firm, if your decision is not what they want to hear. Offer to sit down with them when the two of you have more time.
[For things that need a bit more time to address, go directly from #2 above to #4 below]
4. Say next, you will give it your attention; do not promise to solve;
5. Share roughly how much time you’ll need; explore if they need anything in the meantime if they are emotional;
6. Attend to the situation as priority allows. You may learn at times, it was not just yet another thing (rather, a big thing to you, too);
7. Check-in with that person later-on; share what you can appropriately, and be open about any next steps (sometimes there are none).
8. Offer “thanks” for coming to you.
As moment-making is a teachable moment, what do students learn?
That you can be trusted;
That it is ok to ask for help;
That they matter.